Buster Heyman

I wrote this a couple years ago. I kind of like it.

The bicycle bell dinged as Buster Heyman threw his hand to the side. "Get out of the way." A group of kids playing jacks for nickels waved their arms and dove for the safety of their front lawn. "Degenerates," Buster said in an irritated tone. Some of these kids would go on to run Monopoly rackets.

He stopped in front of the plain house. He popped the kickstand with a flick of his size six sneakers. His plastic cuffs clicked against the vinyl police belt that housed the lone wolf dart gun.

He crossed the toilet paper barrier where Jerica Schmidt was waiting for him. Jerica had memorized the wishbook catalog. If she couldn't identify the victim, no one could.

She was wearing a frilly sundress her mother forced on her. Mrs. Schmidt didn't want to have a tomboy, but a dress would not stop that from happening.

Buster pointed at the sundress. "Your mom is at it again?"

"I threw one mud ball at Missy Coolridge because she was bugging Mr. Kimball's dog, Old Rex. Mr. Kimball tried talking to her parents, but you know they can do no wrong in their eyes," she said. "I heard you were grounded. What happened?"

Buster spat on the grey driveway. "I was up for cookie stealing before dinner."

"You said you were cutting back," Jerica said in a peeved tone. They padded across the fresh-cut grass to where the victim sat under a clean dishrag.

Jerica knelt on the other side of the rag. "It looks like someone put the action figure through Heck. They melted it and cut off the arms." She crossed her arms. “I reviewed the whole wishbook. I didn’t find anything close to the action figure.”

One look at the disfigured toy caused Buster to shake his head. "Why would someone do that? Did anyone see anything?" Buster never broke any toy on purpose.

"No, I asked the local kids. Everyone couldn't leave the house until their parents got out of bed." Jerica shooed a couple of kids away from their crime scene.

In Buster's experience, most toys got destroyed by accident. Sometimes, kids played too rough or threw them in anger. Someone wrecked this toy on purpose. Why would someone do that? "What if the toy is a special one? Weird Billy's big brother collects them. He keeps them in the package and hangs them on the wall."

Jerica frowned and took pictures with an old camera phone. "Jeff is just as cruel as our guy if you ask me. All that cool stuff trapped in plastic. I should give him a piece of my mind."

"It's not our job to tell Jeff how to treat his toys. He's a teenager. They're different from us." Buster said. "You know what's weird?"

"What?" Jerica asked while she picked up the pieces. She wrapped the broken plastic in the dishrag and stuffed it in a pocket.

"I don’t think someone our age did this,” Buster replied.

###

Buster and Jerica left their bikes near Weird Billy's driveway. The Carvers kept everything organized for their son. Buster and Jerica would visit. They were the only kids on the block whom Billy let near him.

"You visit with Billy, and I'll talk to Jeff..." Buster started to say. He wiped his feet on the welcome mat.

"Why do you get to be in charge? Is it because I'm a girl?" Jerica accused. She wiped her feet on the welcome matt while she glared at Buster.

"No, because you'll act mean. You don't like the way he keeps his toys. I think his room looks cool. Next time, it's your turn to lead." Buster said.

"Are you lying?" Jerica asked while she gave him a shrewd look.

"How long have we been playing this game together?" Buster asked.

"A year," Jerica replied.

"I like the way you work. It's always fun." Buster said. “The other boys think police work is all guns and car chases.”

"You could tell me more often, you know," Jerica replied

"Don't make it weird. People will think we kiss." Buster said. His face twisted up, and his tongue stuck out. "Yuck."

Jerica gagged. "Gross. Have you seen your parents kiss? It's like they’re trying to swallow each other." They both laughed. Buster rang the doorbell.

Jeff answered the door. His heavily pimpled face looked down at them and smiled. "Sorry, Billy is at the doctor's."

"What's Billy building this week?" Jerica asked. Buster couldn't blame her. When it came to building cool stuff with Lego, nobody could do it like weird Billy.

"He has a thing for the Taj Mahal this week. I'll tell him you stopped by..." Jeff trailed off as Jerica held out the broken figure. "What's that?"

"It’s an action figure. We are trying to find the owner." Jerica said.

Jeff always played along with the neighborhood kids. He examined the busted toy and said, "It’s vintage. My dad has something similar in the original packaging." he said as he pointed to the figure's hand. "I'd take it to the Dungeon Master at the comic store. He knows about the value of toys."

Of course, toys had value. A person could have all sorts of adventures with one action figure. Buster understood Jeff meant something else. "You mean worth money?"

Jeff grinned and gave both children a high five. "Dungeon Master has a figure worth two hundred bucks. The price is going up."

Jerica whistled, "Wow, that's a boatload of money for a toy."

Buster's eyes almost popped out of his head, "Yeah. That would be my allowance for the next two years."

Jerica looked at Buster and said, "We picked the best day to play detective. We have a real case. I wonder if your dad feels this cool when he works."

Jeff cleared his throat. "As fun as this is, I have homework."

Buster gave Jeff another high-five. "Thanks for your help, Jeff. We'll visit Billy when the case is over."

"I hope Billy is feeling okay," Jerica said. She tied her hair up while Jeff went inside. "We should get permission to go after lunch."

Buster looked at his watch. "Yeah, mom freaks out when I'm late. We should meet up after we eat and do our chores."

###

Detective Heyman made lunch that day. He made grilled cheese sandwiches. Detective Heyman pointed to the broken action figure, "I assume there is a story behind that?"

Buster sighed as he took a bite of the sandwich, "Well, we found it on Jimmy's lawn. Someone wrecked it on purpose."

His dad smiled, poured him a glass of milk, and asked, "What makes you say that?"

"It’s melted, and someone cut the arms off," Buster replied

His father chuckled, "I think that’s a safe assumption."

Buster could hear the pride in his dad's words. "Jerica didn’t know what action figure it was. We brought it to Jeff. Jeff said to ask the dungeon master, who knows lots about old toys."

 "That's some good police work," Detective Heyman said.

"Can I go to the comic store to ask about the action figure?" The comic store was downtown, and Buster couldn’t go without permission.

Mr. Heyman pretended to think about it. "It sounds like a solid lead to me. Be back by suppertime. " He tousled Buster's hair. "Is Jerica going with you?"

"I hope she is. Jerica is my partner," Buster said seriously.

"Don't the boys pick on you for hanging out with a girl?"

"No, they're scared Jerica will beat them up. Jimmy called her a bad name once, and she gave him a black eye. Girls can be scarier than boys sometimes," Buster said in a matter-of-fact tone.

###

The Griffins Keep Comic store was a child's paradise. Every superhero you could imagine lay beneath the steepled roof. Jerica hadn’t arrived yet. She probably had to do the dishes or some other chore. Twenty minutes later, Jerica came in a bright green dress with an enormous red bow on the back.

“Your mom wanted you to look like a christmas tree?” Buster asked.

"I told my mom the same thing. Did you talk to him yet?" Jerica asked in a hopeful tone.

Buster put the comic back on the rack. "No. My dad always waits for his partner. So I waited for you. It's your turn to lead, anyway."

She blushed a little. "I think it's sweet you remembered."

"It's how real police act, you know," Buster shook his head as he looked around the shop. "I wonder what the dungeon master is like?"

Jerica rolled her eyes. "The only way to find out is to ask questions."

The man behind the counter had a price gun and put the latest Stupendous Sharkman figures on the metal hook. The tacky Hawaiin shirt fluttered against his skinny frame. He turned around and saw the children. "Can I help you?"

Buster leaned against the counter and spoke in a baritone voice, "Do you know the dungeon master?"

Jerica leaned against the counter. "We have some questions for him. We need some information on an action figure. We heard he collects vintage toys worth money."

The man reached under the counter and pulled out a pointed wizard hat with stars. "Behold, I am the dungeon master, master of magic, and action figure mumbo jumbo."

Jerica and Buster laughed as the poodle-haired man waved his fingers and eyebrows. "You're so cool," Jerica said between giggles.

Buster took a deep breath and composed himself. He pulled the action figure out, still wrapped in the dishrag. "Do you know what this was?"

The Dungeon Master looked sad. "A first edition Blake Nova of Saturn command. See the symbol on the boot?" He shone a pocket light on it. "The figure is rare and collectible."

Curiosity tugged at Buster's mind. "How much money is it worth?"

The dungeon master wrote some numbers on Post-it and slid the yellow paper across the counter. Jerica’s eyes went the size of saucers. "Wow, I wish my allowance was that big."

"Yeah, that's like a hundred action figures," Buster said.

"That kind of money could pay for everything in this store," The Dungeon Master said.

Jerica pointed to the phone. "I think it's time to call your dad. He told us if we stumbled onto a real crime, we should call him."

"Yeah, this is starting to look like a grown-up problem. I promised dad I would be safe," Buster said.

###

As it turned out, the action figure was a part of an insurance fraud scam. Buster wasn't sure what that meant, but some people got arrested. The police captain gave them cool new badges for a job well done.

"I finally got to help you," Buster said proudly as he and his dad entered the house. 

Detective Heyman ruffled his son's hair, "You're a caring person, Buster."

"Is that bad?"

"No, it's what helped you solve your case. You care about your things and people. I'm like that in my job too. People need answers so they can feel better in time. You helped someone feel better today. I'm proud of you."

"Do you think Jerica and I could be good police when we grow up?" Buster asked.

His father hugged him tightly. "After today, I'd have to say yes."